1. I want to be here like my daughter would want to go to church on a Sunday morning.
2. I’m big as a gorilla and a seven year old girl treats me like her little monkey.
3. My voice comes out high like a girl’s. I don’t know whether I’m going to sound like baby girl or spoiled brat.
4. My father told me having Natalie as a sister is like having a hidden treasure.
5. “Yes, sir,” I say, the hairs on my arm so keen, I could slaughter a cow.
6. Mrs. Caconi is fat around the middle with arms as big as donut floats and bosoms like two cantaloupes.
7. They tested her like if she was an endangered species.
8. My dad says Weasel could convince anyone to try something illegal making sound legal.
Actual:
1. I want to be here like "I want poison oak on my private parts" (pg 3).
2. I’m big as a linebacker and a seven year old girl treats me like her errand boy (pg 12).
3. My voice comes out high like a girl’s. I don’t know whether I’m going to sound like Mickey Mouse or the giant on top of the beanstalk (pg 23).
4. My father told me having Natalie as a sister is like playing ball when you're 100 times better than your opponent (pg 31-32).
5. “Yes, sir,” I say, the hairs on my arm so keen, I could pick up radio signals with them (pg 40).
6. Mrs. Caconi is fat around the middle with arms as big as thighs and bosoms like two jiggling watermelons (pg 60).
7. They tested her like she was some kind of insect (pg 65).
8. My dad says Weasel could convince the hens they're better off with the off with a fox in charge (pg 74).
Example: Mrs. Caconi is fat around the middle with arms as big as thighs and bosoms like two jiggling watermelons (pg 60).
Language does matter because in the example I used, its describing Mrs. Caconi and her physical appearance. If a person that is reading it is of a larger figure and feels offended by the language they might not continue reading it. Language is a big thing but at the same time language has to be changed in one way or another to make the stories interesting and more detailed.
Joke:
Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
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